Who is your favorite child?
I've literally had people ask me this before... have you?
And some parents have a clear cut answer to that question. Before someone even finishes asking the question, they have said THAT child's name. Which hey, I ain't judging. Parent how you please. But for me, my answer is quite different.
First of all, I love all my children the SAME AMOUNT. The way that love is SHOWN is very different. I have very different BONDS with all my kids, our relationships are different and how I parent each of them is different.
So, NO, I do NOT have a favorite child. But my mommin' looks very different for each of them. I handle each of their discipline differently and I show my love to them differently. Because, as humans we are all different and have different personalities and love languages. So, while one child might mostly respond best to snuggles, another might really like affirming words spoken to them. One child might appreciate one-on-one time while one child might really love me just to put their clothes away in their dresser for them.
This certainly makes parenting a little more hands-on. And really makes all those parenting books more of guidance, verses instruction, because each child needs different forms of love and attention.
I have one child that will start crying from a stern look. And I have another child that will easily roll her eyes at me after a pat on the butt and a timeout. She don't care. Doesn't even phase her. So, I am constantly learning different methods of what is the best form of discipline. For one child, I just need to take away her "snacks" and "treats" for the day and the devastation runs thick. Life, as she knows it, is over.
In the same way that discipline affects my kids differently, so does my actions of love towards them. And that is a really beautiful thing.
Some of them really would just appreciate me to get on the floor and play with them. And really engage in playtime. Or... just being there. Just sitting next to them while they play.
I am a HUGE FAN of wooden toys, by the way. Like, if I could just go get a bunch of branches and twigs and make some neat creations out of them, I would throw all the plastic out.
Then I found... Cubbie Lee Toys and they took it to a whole new level. I'm in love. It's ALL WOODEN TOYS!
And how ridiculously cool is this Train Set?
I think I am the one who brings up the idea to build the train track every day! My kids love pouring it out and making a new creation each time (and I love being the mastermind behind the construction each new day.)
I think my kids love tanks get full when I take the time to create with them. Getting rough and tough on the floor with them and all.
And then there are the natural ebbs and flows of life and relationships. There are times (whether it be days or weeks) where I am just in the flow with 1-2 kids. We are just in sync and really grooving together. And there are seasons where I am really ebbing with a child and we are not in rhythm with each other at all. And instead of fighting those seasons of relationships, I am learning to embrace them as they are.
Knowing that the ebbs will not last forever. And not being afraid to really enjoy the flows. I used to feel guilty that I was so enjoying time with one particular child for a certain time, but now I've just been able to admit that we are really jivin' right now and we can just ride the tide for however long it lasts. It doesn't mean that any of the other children aren't as important, or as loved. And it's a good feeling to know this and be confident in each relationship, as different as they are.
I also have children that are very similar to me and some that are exact opposite of me (and much more like their father.) Those attributes add their own new aspects to parenting as well.
No matter the case, we always can relate and love because we are family. And a cup of pretend afternoon tea pretty much always brings us together around the table.
Our days are filled with adventures. Different personalities bring about so many neat experiences to navigate but I am so blessed to see their passions and interests emerge.
I do not have a favorite child. I love them all the same. My bond, relationships, and HOW I show my love is different for each child. And coming to a place of understanding that and walking it out, is a really lovely place to be.
Taking the joy with the pain with it all. Knowing that we are stronger as a family. And our love for each other will always remain.
And you have just got to go see and follow the goodness on Instagram. I'm really making this easy for you here.
Basically, what I'm trying to convey here is that ya'll need some wood toys in your life... er... your kids life. Whatevs, you both will have a blast building and creating and playing with some of the best wooden toys I have seen. The Yancy kids and I absolutely dig these toys!
And ya know what, I even have a special discount code for you to use to get your own: GRQOHQBT for 15% off your purchase (good till the end of May!)
Happy loving and playing, my sweet friends!